As I’ve been talking with a couple people this week who are struggling with issues of forgiveness, I thought I’d spend a couple days blogging some thoughts on forgiveness.Â
MORE THAN A FEELING
Forgiveness is not merely a sentiment. Instead, it’s a staple of life. It’s essential in our lives because Jesus commanded us to forgive. The reasoning he offered for why we should forgive others is (1) we ourselves have been forgiven greater wrongs and (2) we will continue to need forgiveness by God in the future. Jesus even went on to tell his listeners that the standard they use with others will also be the standard applied to them (Mt 7:2).  In fact, Jesus lays down some pretty serious terms for God’s forgiveness of our sins in what we might call, ‘The Apostles’ prayer’: “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those that sin against us” (Mt 6:12) . This is pretty clear. If we don’t forgive others, God will not forgive us. So how do we go about forgiving others? Â
Over the next couple days I’d like to think through some of the challenges involved in forgiving someone.
WHY YOUR SINS AGAINST GOD ARE WORSE THAN OTHERS’ SINS AGAISNT YOU
If you were to offend me by sinning against me, how deeply can I be offended? Well, I can only be offended to a limited degree. This is because my goodness, which is what you would be offending in me, is a limited goodness. The stone of your sin can ripple only so far as my goodness extends.Â
But what about God’s goodness? Any sin I commit is first and ultimately an offense against God (even if another person is the intended target of my sin). God is the party chiefly offended in all sins. If this is so, how much is God offended by any sin of mine? Again, it doesn’t depend of the ‘size’ of my sin but on the extent of His goodness. If God’s goodness is infinite, any sin is an infinite offense. The disturbance of the stone I throw into the goodness of God creates in infinite ripple, for God is omni-benevolent—all good.Â
Therefore, I must never refuse to offer forgiveness to someone who has sinned against me (a limited offense), because I know that God has forgiven me (an infinite offense).Â
To be continued . . . “Those you can’t ‘forgive'” & “How God forgives us.”
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. Read Jesus’ parable of the unmerciful servant in Mt 18:21-35. How does Jesus’ parable inform your understanding of how God expects us to respond to those against whom we have a claim?
2. Why is forgiving others or yourself so difficult?
3. Can you think of a significant time in your life when someone offered you forgiveness? How did their decision and action affect you and how you treat others?
2 Comments on “Forgiveness: What it does and doesn’t mean”
You said that in order for true forgiveness to take place, there must be the one willing to forgive, AND the one seeking, and willing to receive forgiveness. That often is not the case, and some of the most difficult forgiveness is left to the offended person, when the offender is not even remorseful. That situation is not a two way path, and makes it harder to forgive. As humans, we want a return on our investment, or hard effort. It’s not always enough to say “well, I did the right thing by forgiving so and so”. Especially if the offense continues, or is not resolved.
Kristen,
Thanks for the response.
Yes I agree that the offended person has a rougher road than the offender in an act of forgiveness. However, I still think that my point stands: ”forgiveness” always leads to reconciliation, and reconciliation requires two parties. Do you mean to suggest that God forgives without our repentance? Or do you mean to say that there is a completely different model for human relatiohships?
Thanks,
Brent