The Roman Emperor, Nero (A.D. 54-68) is remembered most today for his grizzly persecution of Christians, much of which continued until the 4th century (Nero was known to impale Christian men and women on stakes in his garden, then light them on fire to light the walkways). However, the first five years on Nero’s reign were considered some of the best of any emperor yet. What went wrong?
Having Good Advisors
Nero’s great 5 years are probably attributed to the good advisors he had during that time, such as the renowned Seneca.  Nero allowed his power to be balanced, showing great respect toward the Roman Senate. He even reversed some of the cruel and power-hengry decisions made by previous emperors. However, after these five good years one of his trusted advisors died and another retired. Soon after, Nero sunk into the depths of immorality and civic brutality. Nero’s list of “accomplishments” include the murders of his own mother and cousin as well as instigating the great fire that destroyed much of Rome (A.D. 64), in order to clear area and seize private property to build his new palace. He even blamed the fires on the Christians and drove up persecution as a “punishment.” Tragically, when some of the consequences of Nero’s unchecked lifestyle overwhelmed him (e.g., Senate rebellion) he committed suicide in a country villa in A.D. 68.Â
If there’s anything I remember my Mom saying to me before I would run out the door, during my teenage years, it’s, “Brent, remember . . .”, she didn’t even have to finish it. I’d do it for her, “I know, I know, ‘. . . Jesus is watching!'” There’s an old saying that “behavior that is observed changes.” Social studies back this up. The quality and quantity of work done in a business go up when employees know they are being watched.  The difficult part about out private lives is that we have to voluntarily be accountable. But how do we look over our own shoulders? How effective are hidden cameras when our eyes are the only ones watching the tape? Obviously, we must bring in other eyes.
A few years ago I approached a friend of mine and asked him to pray about being an “accountability partner” with me. I did a Google search on-line for “accountability questions” and found about a zillion examples of them (see below for some examples). But the difficult part was getting to the point where I realized I couldn’t do life well all by myself–even as a Christian. I needed others–and not just anyone–to be a sounding board for my beliefs and actions.
A Secret of the Hebrew Provebs
One of the most notable principles in the Hebrew Proverbs is this–if you want to be wise, hang out with wise people. One decision I’ve made for myself is to intentionally spend time around certain people who are wise and have done life well. Sometimes this is through personal contact or friendship. Other times I don’t have access to a particular wise person and so I must get to know them through their writings. But I must remind myself of the eternal importance of daily recalibrating myself to truth by rubbing shoulders with the wise.Â
One way I do that is to read the Proverb of the day. Since there are 31 Proverbs in the Bible, they correspond to each day of the month. So, each day I try to either read or listen (audio CD) to the Proverb of the day right at the beginning of my day. And I stop to think about, muse over, and pray that God would help me apply one or more of these principles and truisms to my decision-making process that day.
Another way I ‘rub shoulders with the wise,’ as I said above, is to surround myself with those who have proven track records of wise lives in their marriage, parenting, business dealings, entertainment, and even downtimes. I want to pick up and incorporate the values and decisions they have intentionally adopted into their lives. Sometimes it’s through very pointed questions that I might ask them about how they’ve navigated through a particularly difficult situation or through a success. Other times, I pick up on their wisdom just through the informal interaction of doing life together (talking, laughing, meals, watching, etc.).
When I look at the life-change that took place in someone like Nero when he lost his closest and wisest advisors and–realizing that I’m not made of stock than he is–I fearfully run into places where I have people double-checking my work. I need to be scared from time to time by stories of those who created false fronts in their lives and are now reaping the consequences of an unexamined life. And fortunately, or perhaps I should say, unfortunately, I don’t have to look very far. The secular and Christian landscape is littered with such lives. But by the grace of God, I won’t be one of those. Â
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24).
Charles Swindoll’s short writing, “The Bride,” gives a list of accountability questions that one group of men use:
1. Have you been with a woman this week in such a way that was inappropriate or could have looked to others that you were using poor judgment?
2. Have you been completely above reproach in all your financial dealings this week?
3. Have you exposed yourself to any explicit material this week?
4. Have you spent time daily in prayer and in the Scriptures this week?
5. Have you fulfilled the mandate for your calling this week?
6. Have you taken time off to be with your family this week?
7. Have you just lied to me?
This post originally appeared August 18, 2006.
One Comment on “Having good counsel & accountability”
Your message is timely. I hope your new way of communicating will be up to hopes. Yesterday at our house Al and I had a visit of about an hour or so, much on serious subjects, with a Christian couple across the street. That might be along the lines of what you are talking.